¡VIVA RIVAS!

As a Twins fan, nothing has made me smile this off-season quite like when I read that Matthew LeCroy would be returning to the Twins on a minor league contract. I was remiss not to make a huge deal of it earlier. I mean, c'mon, his likability is off the charts; he makes T.C. the Bear look like the boogie monster. To celebrate, I thought we'd take a quick refresher course in gout, a disease which LeCroy unfortunately has to deal with. Apparently when it flares up it feels like a tiny little purple monster is gnawing on your swollen big toe.

So next time he's running out a grounder, please don't remind him he's gone 1,368 plate appearances without a stolen base. It's kind of like making fun of someone's appearance on American Idol even though they compete in the Special Olympics. It's just wrong.

However, do feel free to remind him of this incident:

Washington Post: His Washington Nationals had just beaten the Houston Astros 8-5, had just won three games in a row for just the second time all year. Yet here was Frank Robinson, 70 years old, half a century in the game, with tears welling in the corners of his eyes and rolling down his cheeks. His right hand obscured part of his face. He all but chewed on his pinkie. As he pushed each phrase through his lips, he sighed deeply, all because he asked a grown man to perform a task he is ill equipped to perform.

Matthew LeCroy started at catcher for the Nationals yesterday afternoon at RFK Stadium. But once the Astros realized LeCroy not only hadn't thrown out a base runner all year, but had little chance of reversing the trend against them, they began running -- and they didn't stop. Seven steals and two throwing errors from LeCroy into this affair -- with the Nationals in danger of blowing a six-run lead -- Robinson made the only move he thought he could make. He pulled LeCroy off the field in the top of the seventh, replacing him in mid-inning in front of an announced crowd of 24,733 with Robert Fick, a man who hadn't caught a major league pitch all season.