¡VIVA RIVAS!

The Twins were so bad and repeated the same mistakes so many times, V. Rivas could barely stand to watch the game as:

1) The A's scored first...again.
2) The Twins made an error and the A's scored...again
3) The Twins catch a bad break...again...this time it was Torii's 'out' at home plate.

But today they switched it up -- they added a little something extra to the mix: A devastating inning late in the game that all but sealed the game for the A's.

The Twins played so miserably it's easy to forget they triumphantly won the division less than a week ago. Yes, they can still hold their head high and unfurl a banner on opening day next year that reads: 2006 AL Central Champions. Four of those in five years ain't bad at all.

It's amazing that a team with the AL Batting Champ, an MVP Candidate, the likely Cy Young award winner, a top-flight closer and the best bullpen in the league couldn't advance past the first round. So much talent.

That's what happens when the pirahnas -- which make up just under 50 percent of the lineup -- can't ever get on base. Solo home runs are nice, but they're so White Sox 2000-04-style. The A's deserved to win this series, and congrats to them. But V. Rivas will officially being throwing his support behind the Tigers for the rest of the post-season. See, if they win it all, it'll mean the Twins are due in 2007, followed by the Indians in '08.

(Yeah, what about the Royals?)

Seeing that V. Rivas was raised right by Momma Rivas, he has a few thanks to dole out:

-Gracias to Brad Radke for the courage only previously seen in movie scripts

-Gracias to the pirahnas for inspiring cool t-shirts and posters. Oh, and the whole winning thing was pretty sweet, too.

-Gracias to Castro and Batista for playing a part in putting the team in such a deep hole early in the season, without which the magical comeback would never have occured.

-Gracias to Mike Redmond for walking around naked and giving us the phrase 'smell 'em'

-Gracias to the J & J boys, who exceeded all expectations. AL Batting Champ and MVP candidate -- the future is bright!

-Gracias to Michael Cuddyer, for those giant holes in your cheeks that pass for dimples and your 100 RBIs and 100 R. Truly a breakout season.

-Gracias to Torii Hunter for a torrid September, and for playing through multiple leg injuries in leading the team to victory. You $12 million stud, you.

-Gracias to Johan. You won the Cy Young in the hearts and mind of Twins fans last year, so it's nice to see you'll be recognized for your efforts this year.

-Gracias to the amazing rookie pitchers: Liriano, Boof, Neshek, Garza and Perkins. Hope springs eternal when young, talented players grow on trees.

-Muchas Gracias Twins for mercilessly beating the White Sox out of playoff contention.

33 for MVP!