¡VIVA RIVAS!

I can't make sense of it all, everything's so...backwards. This is the second straight series in which the only game the Twins have lost is the one Santana has started. Down is up, up is down. Santana is Silva, Silva is Santana.

Johan is still the best pitcher in Twins history, but I liked it better when he was pitching like the Presidente he is. (Seriously, I think he should make a run to unseat Hugo Chavez in Venezuela's next elections. I bet he'd win -- but then Hugo would have to assassinate him. And if he didn't, Pat Robertson would. Silva could be the Vice President, and Juan Rincon the Secretary of State. They could even bring in ex-Twins and Venezolanos Carlos Pulido and Henry Blanco for some cushy ambassador to the U.N. jobs. Finally, a real Twins Nation!)

Santana has a ridiculous career ERA in September (under 2) so it's safe to say no one saw this coming. But in the last two turns through the rotation, he has been the Twins' worst pitcher.

In all sincerity, he needs to reverse course soon, because I have plans to name my first born and my first dog after him -- not that I have any immediate plans to acquire either, mom. The kid will be named 'Johan'; the dog, 'Santana.' What if it's a girl, you say? Still Johan. It's androgynous, like Pat or Kelsey (It's a boys name...Kelsey Grammer).

V. Rivas family (artist's rendering):

         
            Johan                                    Santana

Allow me to explain the genius behind my plan with a few sample scenarios: "Hey Johan, take Santana for a walk!"... "Johan! Stop teasing Santana, just give him the friggin' bone already." And the best will be when I mix the names up by accident: "Johan...err, Santana! Stop humping your mother's leg!" PLUS, it will save me from having to buy a Twins Santana replica jersey. Who needs one when you have both Johan and Santana at home?

Speaking of babies...

Twins notes

Looks like the fans are catching up to the whole Justin Morneau for MVP idea. He only trails Jeter by 10 percent in the extremely unscientific and unrepresentative ESPN Sports Nation poll.

As if I needed another reason to hate the Vikings (not that it will stop me from jumping on their bandwagon come December), they're now implying that they'll try to justify forcing MLB to move a possible Twins playoff game in favor of their regular season NFL game. The Vikings won't even beat the Bears this weekend, so why should we care about them in October? Friendly reminder, Ziggy, Twins have a publicly financed stadium and you don't!

Gardy wants Punto back at 3B next year. Of course, what else is he going to say in the middle of a pennant race -- I can't wait to put Punto back in the utility role in 2007? Is it wise to count on Punto at 3B again next year? I'm not so sure.

Stillwater native and U of M alum Glen Perkins made his MLB debut. 1.1 IP, 0 H, 0 R, 1 K. Welcome to the bigs, enjoy your sip of coffee, etc etc.

Rivas of the Day: It really pains me to do this, but I have to give it to Johan. That throwing error on the bunt was the single biggest play that hurt the Twins. You'll get 'em next time, Prez.